Saw a great article in the Wall Street Journal – Why parents shouldn’t take over the top vacations.
The dumbest financial lesson I see parent’s teach their children today is to take fancy vacations that simply aren’t in the family budget. As a side note, over-the-top birthday parties aren’t far behind on my list. Take the average parent today who has a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old and they get the bright idea to wipe Disney World off the bucket list. Going to Disney World isn’t enough. You’ve got to get a fancy room at Animal Kingdom or the Contemporary. You decide to get a fast pass for all of the different parks so you can be first in line. You spend extra money to gain access to have breakfast with Disney characters. Essentially, you make this an all-out full- throttle vacation.
The article goes on to paint the picture of the typical toddler “meltdown”, which then “ruins” the whole vacation.
We talked a little about this regarding hotel stays. Why go all-out for a 5-star hotel for the next family vacation, when budget hotels DESTROY “nice” hotels in several categories that are important for family travel, not to mention that if your kids are anything like mine, all they really want is a swimming pool and a waffle maker anyways…
Expectations
To me, one of the keys to successful family vacations (or even anything family related like birthdays and Christmas) is managing expectations. Most of life’s disappointments can be traced back to unmet expectations. This is true for adults as well as kids. My wife used to hate Mother’s Day, until she realized that the reason she didn’t like it is that she had a certain “vision” or expectation of how the day should go, but never let the rest of us know what she wanted. And so, when the day unfolded and her expectations weren’t met, she would feel sad or upset. Once she realized that and let us know what she was expecting, everyone was happy!
Same thing goes for birthdays, Christmas, or even vacations! If your kid expects a giant over the top of birthday party, or hundreds of Christmas presents or the “ultimate” vacation, and doesn’t get them, they’re likely to throw a tantrum.
Which is not to say that you have to do Christmas all Little House on the Prairie style (an orange in the stocking), but consider the expectation and precedent that you are setting. Most kids do not inherently WANT or NEED everything – think of WHY you’re doing what you’re doing.
Vacations
Now that’s not a knock on Disney – I know several families that love Disney, and there are arguments even for why Disney with younger kids is better than as they get older. We are planning a Disney vacation within the next year or two.
I would just encourage parents to not have unrealistic expectations about a Disney or any other trip – as my wife likes to point out, it’s still going to be there later and you don’t HAVE to do everything all in one trip. I get the idea of trying to do as much as you can while you’re there, but remember we’re miles and points collectors! We can go “whenever” we want!!
Have you ever broken the bank on a family vacation?
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Dan Miller travels with his wife and 6 (SIX!) children. He loves to help families travel for free / cheap, especially larger families. If you are looking for help, drop him an email at 
So I just read that WSJ article and I disagree with just about everything in it! My family went on vacations while I was growing up and I totally remember them, especially the ones to Disney World. Disney does not have to be a huge budget buster. We typically do 1-2 character dinners each visit because then we don’t have to wait in line for characters at the parks. We’ve brought our own food into the parks. We’ve stayed at an off-site condo for around $400 for the entire week. It can be done! 🙂 I agree that people shouldn’t spend so much on a vacation that they go into debt.
My first reaction is that this writer has never been to Disney. If he did, he would know that FastPasses don’t cost a dime. Each reservation gets three per day, and when they are used up, they can get one at a time, based on availability. Secondly, toddler meltdowns are usually due to tired kids. Being at a theme park for 12 hours a day 5 days straight is a recipe for disaster. The key to a successful vacation of any kind is taking extended breaks. Or in the case of Disney, a full day or two away from the parks during a full week stay.
Still, I agree with the idea that you can have a special vacation without going all out. As you mentioned, no kid cares if the bathroom has marble counter tops. Shoot, I don’t care. Give me clean, comfortable, and a good location. I’m sold. Oh, and a free breakfast is nice too!
Yeah – I think that the article just uses Disney as an example of an “over the top” vacation since in some ways it’s the pinnacle of family vacations. I agree that it’s certainly possible to do Disney frugally
oh man, I so learned this the hard way. Whilst I would never pay for a trip I cannot afford the first trip I booked for step-kids was indeed to Florida staying in a fab villa and they so did not appreciate it. I was gutted! They whined about the flight, the food, the weather….anyway ever trip after that until our last holiday was spent at Eurocamps in caravans on sites with lots of kids to do. They loved it, it cost loads less and it was way more enjoyable for us!