First of all, I can’t decide if the “P” word is a “bad” word or not so…. erring on the side of caution… And I am trying to write this without sounding like a completely self-centered jerk. But these feelings are real, so I thought I would give a voice to them in case I am not the only one.
In any case, I’m sitting at the Hilton Seattle downtown for a work conference. I ordered a regular room and I got…. a regular room. And I’m angry.
Okay, I’m not really angry, but for some irrational reason, part of me just feels irritated that I didn’t get recognized and upgraded.
I MEAN, I AM A DIAMOND GUEST
Now, I realize I’m “only” a Diamond because of Hilton status matching a few months ago, though I’d be surprised if differentiating me from a 100 night a year Diamond had any factor. I did not specifically ask for an upgrade when I checked-in, because the process was so fast that by the time I was getting around to it she already had my room key printed and handed to me. And after all, I understand that they may be at capacity and all those rooms may be already taken (see: video above)
So I realize this is irrational
I do realize this is irrational. And I get that I “shouldn’t” feel irritated. I mean, I am just one person, and there’s no need for me to have a suite. I just have a regular room, which is plenty nice enough for me
I’m grateful… no, really I am
Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful that miles and points have allowed my family and I to travel as much as we have (READ: Why we are so fortunate in this hobby), although I am not using miles and points in this particular case, I am “paying” for the room and by “paying” I mean my work is paying for me to attend this conference.
So I am hoping that I don’t get a ton of angry comments about how I am a self-entitled jerk. As I mentioned before, I do realize that these feelings are irrational.
I think it comes down to expectations. One of my wife’s quotes is
All bad feelings come from the result of unmet expectations
And I think that is what is going on here. I came in “expecting” an upgrade, and when I didn’t get one, I felt a little letdown.
Readers: Have you ever felt irritated or otherwise let down when you didn’t get an upgrade? Or am I the only one?
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Dan Miller travels with his wife and 6 (SIX!) children. He loves to help families travel for free / cheap, especially larger families. If you are looking for help, drop him an email at 
I get it. I only get upset if I don’t get an upgrade, AND they don’t bother to acknowledge my status or that they tried. I earned my status the old fashioned way, and I resent that they briefly had such a generous match policy that diluted my hard-earned benefits.
With that said, I have learned to asked for special occasion requests in advance via e-mail. If I am travelling for work, I can deal with a regular room. If I am away with my wife and want something special, I email and ask for it. I am almost always accommodated.
Final thought: I wish that there were more specific parameters around upgrades – maybe based on current year stays/nights, how often you frequent that hotel, etc. I get that complicates things, but it makes the upgrade game less of a crapshoot. Also, let me pick my upgrade via the app. If I am willing to check in early, give me my actual options. I know it works because it happens on occasion.
That’s a good way to think about it. If they had said something like “Thanks for being a Diamond – we looked to upgrade you but we’re totally full and so weren’t able to upgrade you”, I’d have had a completely different feeling
exactly!
It’s not about the upgrade so much as the service, empathy, and thoughtful attempt to deliver your entitled / earned benefits
Empathy can fix anything. 🙂 Make me believe you care. It’s why I love SWA.
Stop being a cry baby. Hilton gave out Dianond status like candy and every blog like yours reported it. Its worthless now. Loyalty is no longer rewarded and most people buy on price.
I realize we can’t get all upgrades but I do get disappoint when I am given a room which seems below that of the “average” room. I do feel having high status should at least mean you don’t get a relatively tiny room overlooking the dumpster by the service entrance near the ice machine and the kitchen exhaust!
Don’t feel bad. I’m am a Lifetime Diamond and very rarely get an upgrade since they saturated the level.
I stayed at this same hotel back in June. I was not offered a upgrade as well. It did not matter to me. What mattered was that the bathtub was filled with dirty water disgusting by the time I entered the room. Some problem was happening in the bathtub next door which cause this situation.
This hotel clearly need some renovation asap.
Things could have been done differently on both sides. They should have acknowledged your status and proactively looked to upgrade you. However, you should also have asked, and if they said there is nothing available, then at least then you could reasonably ask for something else in return. When status is worthless then so is loyalty.
I go to China very often, and when I stay at either the Beijing Hilton or the Beijing Airport Hilton I get upgraded (even in the past when I was a lowly Gold). It is handled before my arrival, with everything all set for me.
Just turned Diamond with Hilton and will see what happens on my next trip (coming up either this, or next, or the one avert that) Thursday.
Your feelings are real. Maybe you need to adjust your expectations down a notch. The reason I say this is if you got upgraded every time it wouldn’t be special anymore now would it?
I was mad last week when I got an upgrade to a club room at the Hilton Vienna in Austria. I was excited so I went up to the lounge at about 8pm at night to find that they don’t serve beer except for a couple hours each afternoon. Maybe it’s me but I was shocked and disappointed. I likely wouldn’t have stayed there if I knew this when I booked the rooms.
Didn’t I read something you wrote where you said you are happy with the Motel 6 or other very budget options? I like feeling thrilled too when I get upgraded or treated special, but I thought I was a little shallow, and aspired to your zen-like self-awareness.
You’re right. I think it all boils down to expectations and I’m agreeing with you and other commenters that I just need to dial down the expectations 🙂
I’m with the others — set the bar low. Then anything above & beyond it is a pleasant surprise.
It’s what I do with my clients all the time — I overestimate how much time & money it’ll cost to do a project. That way I’m always “under budget” and “ahead of schedule” even though I’m taking as long or even longer than I thought I’d need.
I have to guard myself from the same feelings. If you do, it is that much moe of a thrill when you DO get a nice upgrade!
What I do hope is that Hilton improves the app, as at least one other commenter stated, and lets you check into an upgraded room that way, as an elite member. I am not sure how they would clear it and how it would impact management of their inventory. I *do* know that they must be able to do something, because this happened to my wife and I on our trip to Italy this summer. The Hilton app let me check into room 1001 (corner king w/ Duomo view) at the Hilton Florence Metropole rather than a standard room for no additional charge. I was ecstatic.
Right – I wondered about that and I intentionally didn’t check in with the app because I figured my chances of an upgrade were better that way. Goes to show what I know 🙂
I think it’s still a crap shoot. For our stay in Dublin 2 weeks later, we didn’t have such luck. The app gave us only a few decent rooms to choose from (no upgraded options). I checked in via the app, but the room wasn’t ready (strange, no?), and we did get a modest upgrade on arrival.
According to the benefit chart, the following are the Diamond benefits.
Conrad® Hotels & Resorts, Curio – A Collection by Hilton, Hilton Hotels & Resorts, DoubleTree by Hiltonâ„¢
– Space-available upgrade to a preferred room
– 1,000 HHonors Bonus Points per stay
– A complimentary continental breakfast for you and up to one additional guest registered to the same room each day of your stay
Executive Floor Lounge Access (available at select properties7)
– Upgrades may also be rooms with desirable views, corner rooms, rooms on high floors, rooms with special amenities, rooms on Floors, or suites, as identified by each property.
So preferred room upgrade is at the discretion of the property, perhaps you have a regular room on a higher floor as the benefit ? With a large conference in town (and check ins), perhaps the front desk staff did not proactively look out to upgrade, though i would agree that acknowledging Diamond status would be nice, as it may indicate they are looking out for the benefits from you. But as another person said, if it’s important to you, just email the hotel before the stay, then they may take special notice, or ask at the front desk at check in.
Evaluating this and feeling bad after the room has been allocated, to me, is not too productive.
Returned from a multi-city business trip a few weeks ago with several weeks of stays with various brands. No upgrades, no welcome gifts, no free internet, no free water, no nothing. At all three brands. I wasn’t upset, but I was a little disappointed that I finally had a small opportunity to benefit from my status and that status proved worthless. One brand even charged me for the water – that I didn’t take – which was supposed to be a free benefit.
The expression I would use is that your “legitimate expectations” were not met. Even though the small print talks about “space available”, Hilton Diamonds in my experience over many years are almost invariably generously upgraded and that is what it makes it a “legitimate expectation” as against just being a jerk expecting the world [which you certainly are not]. I had a similar experience at an Intercontinental in Israel recently where as a Spire Elite [and that status I got for free although I have been a Platinum for years] I was not really upgraded – a few floors higher is not a meaningful upgrade – and was told that I could not even be given lounge access [as I got last time I stayed there] because the hotel was so full and “there are kids everywhere”. I was also fleetingly put out especially as I had emailed the hotel a few days earlier, something I always do when it makes a difference to me, and it is a very good piece of advice that I see many have given. This was the first time I did not get an acknowledgment of the email even though the acknowledgments invariably say they will do their best but guarantee nothing. I asked if they got the email, the girl smiled sweetly, looked at the computer record, said yes and asked me if I needed help with my bags! Ask pleasantly, don’t demand, and be as specific as possible in what you would like especially if you have been to the hotel before. I regularly stay in an Intercontinental in Eastern Europe and email a few days before asking for a specific upgraded room, which I almost always get or another one with the same footprint. I certainly agree with WR “When status is worthless then so is loyalty.” That was what I felt at the David Intercontinental Tel Aviv!
I understand your pain. I have earned lifetime over 3,000,000 Marriott miles and stayed well over 600 nights, per their records. My profile just shows Gold and I rarely get an upgrade. However, if you have seen the Marriott in Seattle on the water, I did get upgraded there to top floor with balcony that wrapped around on two sides of the room. Very nice. You win some, you lose some, as I see it.
I’m totally with you. I always book the lowest priced room (points or cash) and expect to receive upgrades wherever I stay. 90% or more of the time, the strategy totally works…sometimes even better than k could have imagined. Don’t feel guilty or spoiled. This is how the loyalty programs have programmed us to behave. Have fun!