Okay it’s time a change is made. We’ve had what seems like an increasing number of stories reported about families with young children being kicked off of flights for behavior that ranges anywhere from “unsafe” to “disruptive” to “annoying” to “perfectly fine”.
Let’s see, we have:
- Delta seating a 4 year old 11 rows from her dad
- Family kicked off of a flight after their autistic daughter was deemed “disruptive”.
- Are flight crews out of control? Family kicked off flight for “fussy toddler”
The latest story comes where last week, a 23 month old child and her mother were removed from a recent United flight.
I understand that we rarely get the whole story in these situations. Typically, the family shares their story with the news and/or social media, and (as is expected with human nature) they paint the story as sympathetically as possible to them. The airline typically doesn’t comment, because what can they say? Anything they say is just going to make them look (even more) like jerks.
I know that this is going to be somewhat controversial but….
It’s time to end free “lap toddlers” on flights
Generally, US domestic carriers allow a child under 2 to travel for free as a “lap child”.
I am sympathetic to the price sensitivity of many families with kids, especially young kids. Believe me, I know – remember, I have SIX kids! We have occasionally flown with a lap infant, though not recently. When we used 170,000 Southwest points to fly cross country last summer to Lake Tahoe, my youngest daughter was just over 2. So I’m sure we could have gotten away with her as a lap child (I’m sure they don’t ask for birth certificates and I’m also sure plenty of families stretch the boundaries here). But I also know that trying to take a 4 hour flight with an active 2 year old without a seat would have been INSANE! I mean as it was, we had another passenger tell my wife and I that “we were the type of people that shouldn’t have children!!”
Yes, I know that technically a 23 month old can be counted as a “lap infant”. But take a look at my youngest daughter, a few months ago when she was about 23 months old and thus (theoretically) eligible to be a “lap child” –
Ah the joys of being the youngest of 6 – you get the smallest bedroom…..THAT’S A JOKE PEOPLE!
You’re telling me that on a 2-3 hour flight, she’s going to be happy on someone’s lap? Or fitting in the super tiny space between 2 economy rows? YOU ARE CRAZY! Putting a child this size on an airplane without a seat is like putting her…. in a fireplace grate for 2-3 hours! 😀 Now granted, we have big babies (this one was nearly 11 lbs at birth), but I mean any 23 month old is too big to fly without a seat.
Lap children on international flights?
International flights already don’t allow free lap children. You can fly with a lap child without a seat, but they must have a ticket. Additionally, even on an award ticket, a lap infant will be charged all the taxes, fuel surcharges and government fees. Most airlines will also charge 10% of the price of the fare as well, which can be pretty expensive.
So where’s the cutoff for lap children?
Where should the cutoff be? I say 6 months, and you could MAYBE talk me into a year. But even by 9 months most children are pretty mobile. My wife pointed out that additionally, if you’re trying to breastfeed on the plane, even a 12 month old is going to be encroaching on the personal space of the passengers next to you.
Again, I get it, and I’m sensitive to the price concerns of families with young kids. But it’s time to bring back the original definition of a “lap child”. If your child is so young that it:
- Will be in your lap or in your arms during the flight
- Won’t be regularly standing / walking in the foot space in front of you or in the aisles
- Won’t be eating the onboard drinks or snacks (if offered)
Then to me that’s a “lap child”, and it makes sense that you shouldn’t have to pay for a ticket. But if your child is old enough that you KNOW, going into the flight, that he won’t be in your arms or on your lap, then I’m sorry, but he needs his own seat. And to me, that cutoff is a LOT younger than 2 years old.
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Dan Miller travels with his wife and 6 (SIX!) children. He loves to help families travel for free / cheap, especially larger families. If you are looking for help, drop him an email at 
Totally agree with this, and I also have one that *technically* qualifies as a lap child. She won’t sit still on my lap for 20 minutes, let alone 3-4 hours. Then again, she probably wouldn’t sit in her own seat for that long either – we’d be one of those people with the kid walking up and down the aisle.
This is why I prefer to save my points for now and use them a few years down the line when everybody will enjoy the experience more.
Sure – a 2-3 year old isn’t going to sit in their seat much either but that’s fine. At least they HAVE a seat, and can buckle in for things like takeoffs and landings
I’m right there with you – we almost always buy a seat for our toddlers. I strongly advocate that parents to buy a seat for their kids once they are mobile and walking, especially on longer flights. I’ve only done one cross-country flight with a lap child over 12 months old and only risked it because it was truly last minute and tickets were insanely expensive. I was also flying Southwest, which meant snagging an empty seat is pretty easy if the flight isn’t totally full (2 of our 4 flights ended up having an empty seat which we grabbed). Toddlers are just too big and if you happen to have one that is pretty spirited (like our first), this kind of craziness can definitely ensue.
In my experience the birth certificate is always checked before the infant boarding pass is generated. No possibility for sneaking them in, sorry.
We take full advantage of the free infant in arms policy. We’ve even planned a vacation in order to return the day before my daughters second birthday. We take full advantage.
If you’re reading this page, then you travel hack. Fly southwest, book a seat for your child, when you show up to the airport see if the plane is full. If not, cancel their ticket, and they’ll get that unused seat anyway, for free. If this policy ends, then no more free seats for my kids, it’d be a sad day.
Absolutely agree. I feel that once a child starts walking, they need their own seat. 15-18 months should be the absolute outer limit (taking into account any developmental delays). Expecting a near 2-year-old to sit still on your lap for several hours is not realistic on the part of the airline OR the parent.
I think 12 months is a bit more reasonable cutoff age, but really it depends on the mobility of the kid. One of the big issues is definitely the amount of space that a baby or toddler has. With the seats getting smaller and leg room shorter we are all already cramped and then you add a squirmy toddler to the mix.
We haven’t had problems with space because our lap toddlers have had space sitting in the same seat as one of their older siblings (our kids are pretty skinny), though we still have to hold them during the takeoff and landing. If it was just me and our toddler, I wouldn’t want to hold him during an entire flight.
Right – once the kids are no longer “lap” children, then I think they need their own seat.
We stopped flying with our daughter as a lap infant around nine months and that flight was pretty stressful since she didn’t want to sit still. We are not personally comfortable with her in our laps instead of a car seat and with all of the safety regulations, I’m surprised that it’s still allowed.
That is another area that I didn’t really talk about – the safety of it – great point!
100% agree. We have 4 and have never flown with any of them as lap children beyond 12 months and if we had it to do over, we would not have flown with the 12 month old as a lap child. Once they can walk, it just doesn’t work any more.
No way! All five of my kids have flown loads and loads as free lap infants, and we even schedule trips to be able to take advantage before they hit that dreaded age two. Of the probably 60 flights I’ve taken with kids aged 1-2 (international and long domestic: we live in Hawaii), maybe two have been a problem because the plane was crowded, or I had a large man seated next to me. Most of the time, I just ask to be placed where there is an empty seat, and it’s all good. Yes, if you have an active child who would be better off restrained, than buy another ticket. But please, please don’t take away the free lap “infant” allowance.
Well you definitely want to use it as long as you have it. And you bring up another great point which is that of course all kids are different and even for kids that are the same age there is a wide range of behavior.
I agree…my daughter and I flew about 6 RT’s as a lap infant . It was never a problem for us.
Also there is a question of safety with a lap child. You can’t hold a child on your lap in an auto for fear of crushing them. There can be emergencies on planes, too. I once was on a plane which made an unscheduled stop at a non-hub airport. As we were flying in, I noticed a line up of emergency vehicles lining the runway. I would not have wanted to be holding a child on my lap then. Children should have their own seats and be belted in.
I don’t know…. I feel like we are at the point where there must be a rule for everyone and no one can be expected to make a judgement call, in this case both the parents and the flight crew. I definitely agree that it is not practical or enjoyable to have a lap toddler in many circumstances, but I’m still holding out for a world where parents can make that decision on their own and the freedom to take a free <2yr old with you still remains. Oh and also hoping for a world (or shall I say country) where the flight crew and other passengers are understanding of normal toddler behavior and parents who are doing their best to keep their kids on their best behavior.
I agree with you but…. I feel like there’s a different set of standards when you’re getting something for free. I am not going so far as to say toddlers and children should not be ALLOWED to fly (if that was the case, our family would never be able to fly anywhere!!), but just saying that they shouldn’t be free.
Yeah, it’s not unreasonable to do away with “lap toddlers”, but I’m still holding out hope for people to be smart enough to decide for themselves whether it is reasonable to travel with their under two year old in their lap or not.
I just want to point out that the two times I’ve flown with a lap infant on Southwest, they have definitely required a birth certificate. I also called a week or two before the flight to notify them I was traveling with a lap infant. They made it very clear that a birth certificate was required. Also, a flight attendant said to call the day before and ask if the flight is full. If it isn’t, you can bring the car seat on board and utilize an extra seat for the baby. We just had him laying in an empty seat, which is a safety concern. I did notice that Southwest offers “very affordable” infant fares, but you must call to book them.
I did find this article useful and will be buying a ticket for my now 6-month-old for the holidays. Thanks!
I’m totally fine with doing away with free domestic lap child tickets in 7 months when my baby girl turns 2. Hahaha. I think the issue is more with the parents, than with the kids. Many parents don’t prepare well enough and aren’t proactive with their kids. Both of our kids started flying at 6 weeks and are great travelers…partly because they are used to flying on the regular and because we bring plenty of snacks, surprises, movies, etc to occupy them. Bottom line: kids are restless when they are bored. Occupy them with something fun, and they’ll behave. And when they don’t, just remember that they’re kids, not mini-adults!
You have great points. But in my case I cannot afford buying 2 1500 dollar tickets for my 22 month twins. We have no choice but them being lapchildren. I want to take them to meet my family in South America and if I would have to buy them ariplane tickets I would never be able to go. We are trying to be prepare and go them lots of toys, snacks, crayons,stickers, etc. I think the lapchild option should stay.
8Traveling by air is mandatory for some of us whose jobs require it. I live in the Pacific so if I bought plane tickets every time I had to travel for my infant/toddler, it would have cost me $10,000 over the 2 years. As a breast feeding mom, bringing my baby with me during work trips and paying minimal prices (10%+taxes) allows me to be the mom I want to be and to keep my job. On airplanes, my child has better behavior than some adults. Even is she did freak out, guess what? That’s what babies do. We should applaud parents who are actively engaged in parenting even when it’s hard.
We should move away from thinking about air transportation as something for the affluent and privileged and think of it as a convenient way for people to get where they need to go. Yes, there may be some crying…. Big deal!